One ARIA Award winner’s memoir about dieting, breakdowns and beating anxious thoughts
This week’s book review is Your Own Kind of Girl: The stories we tell ourselves and what happens when we believe them written by Australian ARIA Award-winning singer and actress Clare Bowditch.
The memoir was released in 2019 by Allen & Unwin and has won many accolades including the Australian Book Industry Awards Matt Richell New Writer of the Year 2020.
In addition it has garnered the support of fellow musicians Bernard Fanning, Missy Higgins and Kate Miller-Heidke as well as journalists Leigh Sales and Annabel Crabb, among many others.
Certainly the 352-page book has been a labour of love and decades in the making.
“This is the story I promised myself, aged twenty-one, that I would one day be brave enough – and well enough – to write,” Bowditch writes.
So keep reading to find out what the book is about, highlights and tips for those sitting down to create an autobiography, memoir, biography or other life-story project.
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What’s Your Own Kind of Girl by Clare Bowditch about?
Your Own Kind of Girl is a life story that starts with Clare Bowditch talking about happy moments from her childhood at Sandringham, Melbourne, Victoria.
She is the youngest of five to Catholic parents Ian, a lawyer and former Olympic fencer, and Marianna, from Holland.
But tragedy strikes the family when Bowditch’s sister Rowena develops Devic’s Disease. It causes her to slowly lose her sight, mobility and be confined to a hospital bed for two years before her death at age seven.
Certainly this traumatic event affects Bowditch as she grows up battling with her ‘Amazonian’ body type and traversing teenage relationships.
However, this reaches a turning point when, at age 21, she has a breakdown while on a working holiday to England and is forced to return home to be cared for by her parents.
Indeed, at this time Bowditch thinks her mind is sick and her life over. But through much grit and determination finds the path to recovery, music and true love.
“My breakdown was horrible, but it was also the moment that I became willing to stop lying – to be honest about what I was feeling, to be honest about what I really wanted to do with this life of mine.”
Interesting bits of Your Own Kind of Girl by Clare Bowditch
One interesting part about this memoir is how surprisingly funny and entertaining it is, especially the audiobook.
Clare Bowditch narrates this version and includes illuminating snippets of her hit songs. There are also samples of her singing to cassette as a tot plus hilarious skits of made-up characters complete with comedic accents.
However, I also really loved that Bowditch’s mum makes an appearance during the introduction as well as in funny conversation at the end to share her comforting Dutch apple tart recipe.
Secondly, it was wonderful to hear Bowditch explain how she writes songs: by letting them build, checking in on them and not rushing them along.
Indeed she praises the nature of a song as the only “container” strong enough to hold and record complex emotions.
Finally, the best bit about this book is it shows recovery from anxiety is possible. This takes time and bravery to find happiness on the other side of our fears.
Most importantly, Bowditch says anxiety does not mean we are abnormal and that help is available.
“One of the best things I can tell you about anxiety is this – that no matter how far up the garden path your anxiety has dragged you, recovery is absolutely and completely possible.”
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Tips for fellow life-story creators
Clare Bowditch gives us some thoughtful insights about remembering and recording memories.
For example, she says her memory is patchy around Rowena’s death, that her mind made up some memories, and was influenced by the recollections of others.
Certainly it is great she is so honest about this conflict and offers multiple versions for the reader.
Furthermore Bowditch is a fearless example of tackling painful stories in print.
This includes the effect of her sister’s death on her and her family, detailing relationship break-ups, dieting plus associated bullying. And truthfully explaining her breakdown when she feared she might take her own life or harm others.
Indeed what must have helped Bowditch write about these topics was having a clear mission for her book. Namely to show others they are not alone in their suffering and that hope and help is available.
“We don’t get to choose our genetics, the weather, not even what time the train is going to arrive. We don’t get to control space, or time. Try as we might, the only person we get to choose to save is ourselves.”
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Final say: Your Own Kind of Girl by Clare Bowditch
Of course Clare Bowditch is well known as a musical celebrity but Your Own Kind of Girl clearly shows there is much more to this star.
Indeed the book is a heartfelt and honest read that tackles difficult topics with bravery, empathy and care.
But it also delivers positive doses of good humour and love.
Certainly this is a must read for those suffering from, or a history of, anxiety.
However, it is also a powerful memoir for those wishing to learn and understand the depth and breadth of this debilitating condition.
Lastly, for even more by Bowditch, check out her new Audible original audiobook – Tame Your Inner Critic: How to tell better stories to yourself, about yourself.
Happy writing and reading.
*Please note: I am not a doctor and the advice in this article is general in nature. Please contact your doctor or health professional for help that suits your specific circumstances. Further resources: Beyondblue, Lifeline Australia.
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