Amazing secrets about writing together from a life-story book coach
First published February 8, 2018: This article has been updated and improved.
Writing an autobiography, memoir, biography or other life story can be a very solitary pursuit but it doesn’t have to be.
Your husband or wife may be the perfect support person for your project.
But including them in additional ways from the very beginning can make for a more holistic book.
After years together you and your partner’s life stories have naturally become interwoven.
Therefore it is a given that when you sit down to write your book will include a little or a lot about their life as well.
Following on from St Valentine’s Day, this week’s article explores ways to include your partner in your life-story writing project.
Write together selectively
An easy way to get your beloved involved or to write together is to ask them to recall specific events.
This could be key memories such as: how you met, how you got engaged, your wedding day, the birth of your children, etc.
You will be surprised by the different facts, details and points of view they have compared to your own.
Use this information as background to inform and shape your writing or directly attribute these stories to your partner.
For example, you might write a short story about how you met your husband but then introduce a linking paragraph to give his take on the event.
“This was how I remembered meeting David but he recalls being extremely nervous on the day.”
David then writes his version of the story sharing his point of view.
This is a wonderful way to write together but keep memories distinctive.
Related article – Your Family Stories system: Family stories + family history + much more!
Related article – Good writing: Top tips on how to become a better writer (plus writing prompts free training)
Write together by chapter
A second way you can write together is to write different chapters.
Ask your husband or wife what era or topics they would be keen to write about for your life-story book.
You could do early chapters (ancestors, your birth, youth, schooling, etc) but perhaps they write one chapter about how you met and early life together.
Then you could continue writing the rest of the book or alternate writing chapters depending on each person’s interests.
For example, your partner might like to write chapters about life when your children were growing up and then life in the present moment.
The ‘all in’ approach would be a combined life-story book you write together.
You could write a few chapters about your early life and then your partner could do the same until the stories come together when you meet.
From here divvy up the chapters to the present day.
Related article – Story outline: How to make an outline and have topics to write about
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Writing life lessons
Reflecting back over your lives and writing together can bring a lot of life lessons into focus.
Don’t forget to include these in your book for future generations.
I know I loved hearing and learning life lessons from my grandmother when I was interviewing her for her autobiography.
Ask your partner too what they value about your relationship, guiding principles they try to follow and life secrets they want to pass on.
Not only will this exercise help bring you closer together, it will preserve heartwarming stories and sentiments for others to cherish.
Related article – Lessons learnt: Writing memoirs full of your best life lessons
Related article – Case study: Helping to write the story of grandmother Bonnie, 99
Final say: Writing together
Writing together with your husband, wife or significant other can be super fun.
In the month of love, it is timely to think about ways to include them in your life-story project.
This could include: incorporating their take on past events, a guest writing cameo, writing an entire chapter or combining your life stories into one book.
Joining forces to write together is likely to deepen your affection and appreciation for one another.
And it can also be a touching love letter for the future.
Happy writing!
Free gift!
If you want to learn how to interview a loved one, such as your husband or wife, about shared memories, the Your Family Stories System can teach you how. Sign up here or fill in the form below to get the first few sections for free.
Your say
How will you write together with your partner? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Send me an email or leave a reply in the comments section at the end of this article.
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Have you hit a roadblock planning, writing or finishing your autobiography? Let me know here so I can help!
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This article first appeared on the website Forever Young Autobiographies.com.
