What every hopeful parent should know about infertility treatment, miscarriage and micro preemie birth
Melissa Harris’s powerful new memoir is about a baby’s fight for survival and a mother’s perseverance.
One Pound, Twelve Ounces: A preemie mother’s story of loss, hope, and triumph came out last month and covers infertility and premature birth.
Indeed Harris’s dream of becoming a mother was shattered when a fertility doctor told her she might never have another child because of a physical anomaly.
But determined to persevere, she underwent nine surgeries, a year of fertility treatments and endured multiple miscarriages.
And when finally pregnant, Harris was told her baby, Sam, was at risk.
She caught up with Forever Young Autobiographies to tell us more about her life story, the writing process and share tips with fellow writers …
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Melissa Harris’s memoir One Pound, Twelve Ounces
A series of challenges
I was on the fast track to being a partner in a mid-size ad agency when I gave birth to my second child, Sam, at just 24 weeks.
But between his early birth, his long hospital stay, and coming home in the middle of flu/RSV (respiratory syncytial virus) season, I had to shift my focus from work to family.
One Pound, Twelve Ounces starts chronicling my struggles with secondary infertility and multiple miscarriages, intermixed with the six days I was in the hospital before giving birth to Sam.
And the second part of the book is all about our 95-day stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) and all of the ups and downs that entailed.
Lastly the book talks about Sam’s first year of life – ending with a letter I wrote to him on his first birthday.
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Why write One Pound, Twelve Ounces?
When I gave birth to Sam, I started a blog as a way to communicate with friends and family spread out across the globe.
But within a week, the blog became more for me than anyone else.
So writing everyday was my therapy – a place to put all the pain and emotion of the day so I could get up the next day and start the process again.
However, after two years I realized that, while I was in the thick of it with Sam, I had searched all over for something I could read that would give me comfort, hope, insight, anything and was disappointed by everything I found.
Therefore, it occurred to me I could fill that void for the next person looking for comfort.
Firstly I was not a doctor, so I wasn’t writing from that perspective.
Second, I was not religious, so that angle would not apply.
In short, I knew my raw, honest, funny (at times) voice could bring another mum, dad or grandparent some comfort and hope.
Support for the project
The main reason One Pound, Twelve Ounces is out in the world is because friends and family pushed me to write it.
Indeed I can’t tell you how many drafts my mum and friend Kathleen read before the manuscript was ready to be sent around.
Certainly, just like when I had Sam, I was held up by my community and pushed to keep going.
Writing and finishing One Pound, Twelve Ounces
Getting started
One Pound, Twelve Ounces was years in the making.
I had kept a daily blog while Sam was in the hospital, so I had all the raw material I could ever need ready to go.
Firstly I took the blog and pulled everything into one document.
Then I went through it, fixing all the spelling and grammar errors.
Next it was a bit like molding clay.
Certainly I had the resources, now I just needed to mold it into something special.
Also, I was still married when I started the book.
But about two years after I started it, I was divorced and faced the difficult task of rewriting the book to frame my now ex-husband more honestly – but also respectfully.
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Overcoming writing challenges
My biggest challenge was finding the balance of showing my marriage falling apart without making One Pound, Twelve Ounces something I would not want my kids to read.
Therefore the reality is the struggles I detail were what did the marriage in.
So finding the way to say that and not hurt my kids was not easy.
However, I would rather be kind than damage my kids’ relationship with me or with him.
Also, another big challenge I faced was the first part of the book, which I rewrote four or five times.
However, I am so glad I kept pushing on and kept being pushed.
Because I absolutely love how Part 1 came out.
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Discovering writing rewards
The first time Sam picked up One Pound, Twelve Ounces he didn’t put it down until he was finished. (Sam is 11 so that is saying a lot.)
Indeed he came to me in tears and asked me to read the letter at the end of the book out loud to him while we snuggled together.
Certainly this was magical for me.
So what is my favourite part of the story?
Easy – the fact Sam lived!
Importantly I love that even though the story is full of heartache, tragedy, health scares, etc … at the end I have Sam.
Health, happy, funny 11-year-old Sam.
Tip for new writers
Firstly be honest.
So don’t try to make things better or worse than they are.
Because it will read like you are trying.
In short, the more raw and honest you are, the more real and true the book will feel and the more the reader will relate to you.
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Final say: One Pound, Twelve Ounces
One Pound, Twelve Ounces: A preemie mother’s story of loss, hope, and triumph by Melissa Harris is an inspiring memoir.
It is the journey of one mum’s determination to give her micro-preemie a fighting chance – and the story of that baby’s remarkable battle to survive.
“I know not everyone has the outcome I have but there is hope,” Harris said.
“And for those in the middle of fertility issues or miscarriage or premature birth, please know you are not alone.”
You can learn more about Harris, her book and where to buy a copy at her website or connect with her on Facebook.
Happy writing!
*Please note: I am not a doctor and the advice in this article is general in nature. Please contact your doctor or health professional for help that suits your specific circumstances. Further resources: Beyondblue, Lifeline Australia.
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